Growth 💗

 Some men aren't for you.

They don't want to love you properly at all, but at the same time they don't want to let you go.

 The more you give to them, the less they unfortunately appreciate, and the minute you've had enough and decide to walk away is when they are ready to love you and treat you right. 

So you decide to give them a chance in the hopes they've changed only to realize they only changed for a very short period of time.

You finally find the strength to walk away and here he comes again, proclaiming his love for you. 

 What a lot of people don't understand is that if a man shows anger and persistence to get you back once you try to break it off isn't proof of love at all.

 A man trying to flatter you or making weak attempts to be "nicer" for a couple weeks isn't proof that he's trying, its proof that he knows you well enough to know how to defuse you long enough to hook you once again. 

  Lets put it this way....

 If you take a childs toy away from them, the child begins to cry. 

 Same goes for the relationship... If you take away a relationship of convenience, a man begins to cry. Just because he cries doesn't mean you give him what he wants.

 Stop listening to what your man keeps promising you and start watching what his actions keep telling you. 

 A lot of women don't know what its like to be loved by a real man. 

 You know lust, you know joy, you know passion and you know the fear of abandonment. 

 Stop chasing your idea of what love should be and recognize what love actually is.

 Love isn't promising to act right after he gets caught screwing up time and time again. 

Love is him acting right from the very beginning because he doesn't want to lose you because he knows how truly special you are.

Love isn't telling your grown man he needs to change so he can keep you, love is a grown man changing on his own because he cant imagine life without you.

So take my advice and choose to be loved properly and always no matter what..... remember your worth.

Stop doing this.

 Stop doing this. 

Stop teaching your partner .... how to be your partner.

Don't ask them to text you throughout the day to check on your mental health. 

Don't ask them to make a reservation at your favorite restaurant unannounced. 

Don't ask them to make you a warm bubble bath after you had a long day after work. 

Don't beg them to acknowledge your existence. 

The right person will do all this and more. 

Find someone who has has always dreamt about having someone like you .... ever since they were a child. 

Find someone that shows you how much you truly mean to them with every day that passes. 

Find someone who not only says "I love you" but proves it to you with their actions.

Find someone who hurts other people's feelings to protect yours. 

Find someone who supports your dreams and life goals.

Find someone who knows it's not about giving you the world, but to only make you a priority in theirs. 

Find someone who chases you long after .... they already have you. 

Find someone who traces the valleys and crevices of your body with their fingertips to remember every detail about you when they miss you. 

Take my advice and wait for this person ... because the longer you entertain what's not for you ..... the longer you postpone what is.

Did you jump?

 Relationship lessons I have learned throughout the years. 

When you meet someone and they show you their true colors, don't try to repaint them. 

When you try to save a toxic relationship or an abusive person, that is called a trauma response. 

Your relationship doesn't need to make sense to anyone except you and your partner. 

It's a relationship, not a community project.

Always believe people when they show you who they truly are. 

Many times what we call "Giving people the benefit of the doubt" is our way of disrespecting our own boundaries with a delusional belief that they will change. 

Always pray to God for guidance in your relationship. 

Always having effective communication in crucial. 

Communication is more than talking on the phone for countless hours at night before you decide to fall asleep. 

Its the quality of the conversation that truly matters. 

If your absence doesn't affect them, then your presence never mattered. 

The moment when you start to wonder if you deserve better.. You do.

A person's morals, standards and mindset will be the qualities that will be raising your children. Those are the things that will make them a good spouse and parent. Not their looks, so choose wisely.

Pursue a relationship with someone that knows the smallest details about you. Like the time you wake up, how you like your coffee, your favorite smell, your love language, what movies make you cry.

Never settle for the bare minimum. 

Take my advice and stop crossing oceans for people who wouldn't jump over a puddle for you.

You can't force someone..

 Never force a relationship.

Sometimes it's better to move on, than to hold on to a person who doesn't understand who you truly are. Unfortunately there will be times where your absence will teach you what your presence cannot.

You need to stop breaking your own heart in trying to make a relationship work that clearly isn't meant to work to begin with. 

You can't force someone to genuinely care about you. 

You can't force someone to be faithful to you.

You can't force someone to be the person you need

them to be.

The truth is, sometimes the person you want the most is the same person you would be best without.

You have got to understand some things are meant to come into your life, just not meant to stay.

Everything that you do to show love, you have to be

careful, not to lose yourself by trying to fix what should never been there in the first place. You can't get the relationship you need from someone who's not ready to reciprocate the love you give to them.

I know it's hard when you meet someone and your heart feels, that's the person you could spend an eternity with, and you start to accept that they are not that person you thought they needed to be.

And no matter how many times you cry yourself to sleep at night, you will eventually heal from your previous relationship and find the one you have always longed for. Your future will now bring an understanding of why things didn't work out in your previous relationships.

One thing I have learned throughout the years, is “It is better to be single than to be in a relationship settling for less.”

If they see you as an option, then they don't deserve to be a priority in your life.

Take my advice and never chase someone who's not chasing you.