A different death.

Ending a Relationship with a Narcissist is not like a regular breakup.

People always ask victims and survivors of narcissistic abuse the same questions.

"Why can’t you just move on?"

"Why can’t you get over it?"

"Why are you still thinking about this person who treated you so bad?"

 And what alot of people don't understand is......you can’t verbalize why, because you don't even know where to start.

The fact that you fell in love with someone that never existed and now you have to mourn the loss of them.

 The fact that they conditioned you to be someone that you don’t even recognize in the mirror anymore.

 The fact that you can’t explain the guilt that you feel for letting go of this person that made you feel like it was your only job on earth to save them. 

The fact that you can’t explain the anxiety and loneliness that you feel from not having them there because they were the person that soothed you after they abused you.

The fact that you can’t explain that even though they lied to you and fed you empty promise after empty promise, that you still had a fraction of hope in your head that maybe they can change.

Or maybe it's the fact that you can't explain the anger that you have towards them because you can’t let go of knowing that you were manipulated by them since day one. 

Ending a relationship with a narcissist is traumatizing to say the least, but you're very capable of recovering from such an unfortunate chain of events. 

You have to accept the reality that this narcissistic person never loved you. 

They used you to fuel their admiration, and they needed you to reflect their magnificence because they never truly felt it about themselves. 

You also have to realize it's not that you're unlovable, but it was the person you were with, that was incapable of loving anyone including themselves. 

Take my advice and remember.... if you're in a relationship that makes you question your own value, you need to reconsider the appraisers in your life. 

We Weep.

 There are nights when I get emotional for no reason at all, and somehow I'd like to think that it's my heart weeping for my dreams that didn't come true. I guess I'd been so used to people talking about how painful a broken heart is, but this kind, I've come to learn, is something that hits differently. Time may make it feel better, but little random moments remind me of those things that I used to pray for, I used to work hard for, that I had to let go because they just weren't working out no matter how hard I try—and then I break a little.

I know that in life, finding contentment in what we have is key to happiness. But maybe the heart really doesn't forget. Maybe the stars do weep at night. Whatever the case is, my little hope is that those dreams I had to let go, those little things that shine and that person I so wished to have become, I hope that they're all broken pieces of the puzzle and one day, they will fall into their rightful place to show me something more beautiful than what my heart could ever ask for.

Be Chased.

 Never force a relationship.

Sometimes it's better to move on, than to hold on to a person who doesn't understand who you truly are. Unfortunately there will be times where your absence will teach you what your presence cannot.

You need to stop breaking your own heart in trying to make a relationship work that clearly isn't meant to work to begin with. 

You can't force someone to genuinely care about you. 

You can't force someone to be faithful to you.

You can't force someone to be the person you need

them to be.

The truth is, sometimes the person you want the most is the same person you would be best without.

You have got to understand some things are meant to come into your life, just not meant to stay.

Everything that you do to show love, you have to be careful, not to lose yourself by trying to fix what should never been there in the first place. You can't get the relationship you need from someone who's not ready to reciprocate the love you give to them.

I know it's hard when you meet someone and your heart feels, that's the person you could spend an eternity with, and you start to accept that they are not that person you thought they needed to be.

And no matter how many times you cry yourself to sleep at night, you will eventually heal from your previous relationship and find the one you have always longed for. Your future will now bring an understanding of why things didn't work out in your previous relationships.

One thing I have learned throughout the years, is “It is better to be single than to be in a relationship settling for less.”

If they see you as an option, then they don't deserve to be a priority in your life.

Take my advice and never chase someone who's not chasing you.

YOU. 👊

 You cannot wait for someone’s apology as your permission slip to move on.⁣⁣

—A compassionate & firm reminder for those left without closure.

Sometimes—and this is a hard truth that someone out there may be ready to integrate—that apology never comes.⁣

Yes, it would be great if they at least recognized how much pain they put you through. But you cannot continue putting your life on hold, waiting for something that may never come. ⁣⁣

The more you continue to live with the “what could be,” the less you are able to finally surrender to the reality of “what is” and, with grace, begin moving forward.

Here’s some good news & a little known fact:⁣⁣

You don’t need somebody else to reach closure within yourself. ⁣⁣

You don’t need to wait for them before you start giving your heart the care and attention it badly needs right now (really).⁣⁣

And let’s face it: nothing they say can make the hurt just magically disappear.

You deserve someone that actually take care of you: YOU.