The truth is that growing up is heartbreaking. You always find yourself running- from one place to another; and no matter where you go, there's always an urge in the back of your mind to suddenly pack your bags and leave without giving anyone a notice. I haven't prayed in my life, not really but for once I would like this anxiety, this trauma, this helplessness to take a backseat. For once, I would like to know what life is like without fears. It is impossible, I know that. It's not easy to forget something that has become a part of you. Still, someday I hope to go alone on a long drive and stop in a field of wildflowers. I hope I smell the earth, see the blue sky, watch little butterflies sitting on plants and there's no rush to go back. I have never known a home that had enough space to fit all of me. I sincerely hope from the bottom of my heart that some day, I will be able to build a home for myself and fill it with all the things I love. And when I break apart, I have arms around me to hold me and pat my back. I won't live forever. One day, I will vanish and nobody will say my name again and think of me. But right now, I am here. Right now, I am living and I wish to live a little more. For myself. There's a vast orange sky over me, filled with my hopes and dreams. And I hope I get to know what it's like to live right under it.
If the day I am praying for ever arrives,
all this wait will be worth it.
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